Have y’all seen this hashtag/social media thing going around called #girlboss?
And not to disparage anyone, but I looked at it and thought: “Fine. But I’m not a girl. I’m a grown assed woman.”
And my legs go all the way to the ground.
So what, exactly, is a grown assed woman?
Well, in my humble opinion, being a grown assed woman includes but is not limited to the following:
Grown assed women know how to use the word “no”. It is a full sentence that does not require explanation.
Grown assed women know how and when to say “fuck off” – literally or metaphorically – as circumstances warrant.
Grown assed women know that when you are swirling between the Scylla of bimbo and the Charybdis of bitch – you may as well do what you want to anyway.
Grown assed women know that it takes discipline to be what we want to be. Well read, well educated, well written, well spoken, well dressed women don’t just happen. If your shit it together, your house is clean, your bills are paid, your thank you notes are written and your children know how to act in public – its because you worked for it. You put the effort in. It doesn’t just happen.
Grown assed women take responsibility for themselves, their lives, their choices and their decisions. I don’t know about y’all but the decisions that I’ve made that have gone straight to shit don’t really bother me. The choices I’ve let other people make for me – when those have gone to shit – it bothers me. And the ones that haven’t gone to shit still bother me.
Grown assed women don’t compare themselves to others. Figure out what you are. If you like it, expand it. If you don’t, change it. But live in gratitude and awareness of your gifts and blessings, your faults and your weakness. Own it. Accept it. Be it. Let it make you happy.
Grown assed women can hold their liquor and don’t get drunk in public. Think about it. Is there anything more embarrassing that a sloppy drunk? This applies to men, too – but we’re not talking about them. I know, I know. We have an equal right to be drunk and embarrass ourselves. But still.
Grown assed women know the power of an appropriate supportive undergarment.
Grown assed women know how to laugh – especially at themselves.
Grown assed women either know how to walk in heels or they don’t wear them. None of this teetering down the mall shit. If those shoes make you walk like a stork, take them off or learn to sink back into your hips and work them. There is nothing else.
Grown assed women know the importance of discretion and are considerate with their words and actions.
Grown assed women know and understand the power of their sexuality and use it to their own purposes.
Grown assed women know how to play up their assets and cover up the rest. Its amazing to me the number of women who don’t know how to dress for their body.
And finally, grown assed women acknowledge that they’re women. Not girls. Not walking tits and ass. Not a disembodied brain. Not a voiceless, powerless mannequin. Grown assed women know that they’re a whole adult person, full of contradictions and complications. As Walt Whitman said “I contain multitudes”. And so do grown assed women.