Four.

If you had to sum up how you’re feeling in one, four letter word – could you do it?

The three letter words get more play sometimes.  Sex.  Sin.  Law.  God.

But I’ve become obsessed with the four letter words.

Love, Hate.

Busy, Rest.

Damn, Save.

Deny.

Hope.

Girl.

Wife.

Can’t, Won’t, Were.  Will.

Good, True, Lies, Fear, Fury, Calm, Give, Take, Lose, Find, Dead, Numb, Agog.  Open and Shut.  Seek and Hide.  Grow or Fail.  Duty.

Quit or Stay.

Small words.  Big ideas.  Impossible, endless microcosms of feeling, of ambivalence, of meaning and confusion.

Ultimately, when our feelings are so big, our thoughts are so wide, our minds are so scattered and our words are so lacking, so jumbled, so inarticulate, so muddled – stop.

Just stop.  Just.  Stop.

And meditate on a small word.  Four letters only.  Run over it in your head.  Limit yourself.  This isn’t K & W.  You have to choose.  You have to distill it, to find and accept one word and throw out all the rest.

If you had one four letter word today, what would it be?

xo

Tonya

 

2 thoughts on “Four Letter Words

  1. Save. I’ve spent the last two years working through infertility issues. At times I’ve avoided my feelings by eating, And at times I’ve become consumed by the stress and sadness. But now we’re at the fertility clinic getting help and doing IUI treatments. There’s nothing more to control or run away from. Now there’s just me. And I’ve realized how far away I’ve gotten from the woman I know myself to be. But she’s still there – with a few more lumps and bumps and bruises and experiences. So save. I’m going to save myself. Rescue is the word that comes to mind a little more but for the sake of your four letter word challenge – I think save sums it up pretty well. Loved this post, Tonya.

    Like

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